IN THE FACE!!!

One time ACE and I got a little drunk, I drove, we saw a girl get shot in the face, hit a car at a gas station, and stole a whole bunch of junk food on accident. Now that I have your attention here is the story.

ACE and I had been out all night, it was two am in the patch.(Springfield, MO) and we were hungry. We decided to go to Git N' Go by our house, which is also in the patch's ghetto, which in all reality isn't even close to a ghetto. I drove the magic Bonneville which was a bad idea, but I digress. When we were getting close to GNG we saw all sort of lights and sirens, at least 6 police cars, 2 fire trucks, and a couple of ambulances. ACE questioned the intel of driving into the lions den tipsy, but I assured him we were all good.

We parked front and center and get out. There is a lot of commotion by the front door as we walk in, but whatever, I want some Doritos and Slim Jim's. ACE and I walk into the store and there is no one in there, not even a cashier, we pick up at least $50 in junk food. We pile it on the counter and the clerk comes in from outside. "What's all the commotion outside for?" I ask. "A girl got shot IN THE FACE," he says. This starts ACE asking "IN THE FACE???!!!???," about 20 times. I chime in a couple and the clerk assures us that girl was shot IN THE FACE. There is so much confusion and commotion we pick up our stuff and walk out.

Now I notice the ring of people I didn't on the way in. This poor girl is yelling, blood is everywhere. All I am thinking is lets get out of here. We jump in the Bonny, I throw it reverse and then pop! ACE say, "dude you just hit that car!" True their was a Jeep behind us at a pump, but I assure ACE we just stopped short. We drive out of there and make it home to inspect Bonny. Sure enough, there is slight damage to the rear bumper, whatever, let's eat! As we are talking about seeing someone shot in the face and eating, we realize, we didn't pay for all this food! We just walked out with it. So in the span of 30 minutes, we drove a bit tipsy, saw someone shot in the face, hit a car, and stole a bunch of junk food on accident. If this is illegal, arrest me now.

The girl turned out to just be nicked by the bullet(thankfully), but we did not know this the next day and recanted our story to some friends. About half thought it was terrible because we were laughing about someone shot in the face, the other half quickly adopted the new catchphrase "IN THE FACE!" Use at your own discretion.