Toliet Humor

I got a coupon in the mail from Chipotle. It was for a free burrito. If you know me on a personal level you will know that I cannot resist a coupon, bargain, deal, sale, giveaway, etc. I scooped up kiddo an put her in the car seat and raced to Chipotle in Kirkwood. It is in the parking lot of Once Upon A Child, Dollar Tree, and there is a Wal-Mart across the street. It's kind of like what I want heaven to look like.

We get in, stand in line and I notice out of the corner of my eye the new weekly in the newstand. In STL it is called the Riverfront Times, but most people call it the RFT. Its the kind of rag that is full of ads for bars, bands, ladies of the night, apartments, attorney's, and occasionally they will run a feature story that is worth reading. They have an advice column in there I follow called Savage Love, written by Dan Savage. I pick it up to read during lunch.

After redeeming our coupon we find a place to sit and this place is packed. We were basically on top of four ladies that looked like they were on lunch from some type of office. They commented on the cuteness of my daughter and we exchanged pleasantries and then I got us situated. Kiddo is munching away so I open up the RFT and start reading Savage Love. This week it is one for the ages. I don't want to go into detail, but lets just say it involves a toliet plunger and a teenager exploring himself. I am laughing so hard I am crying. I'm kind of making a scene, but I can't help it. The ladies next to me take note and ask what I'm reading. I just kind of respond with a vague general answer. They look at the paper then me and I look at my cell phone for some reason. I go back to eating and and cleaning up kiddos mess, next thing I know they have picked up a paper also and are now reading Savage Love. Like I said I'm not going into details, but this column was really detailed which is why it was so funny. These ladies don't find it nearly as humorous as me and as they pass it around the table each one of their jaws drop and they look at me with questioning glances about my sense of humor and most likely my parenting ability. Of course I have my 2 year old daughter with me which makes it all the more uncomfortable! I am basically sharing a table with them we are so close so I have to make a decision. Do I stay and eat an awkward meal or do I get out of there before they ask where her mom is. I high tail it out of there and we finished our burritos in the minivan.

Heres a link to the column, read at your own risk.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=2531572