A Brother Thing

I'm visiting my brother in Nebraska for the weekend, so I thought I would write a tribute to one of the best stories we have together, as in not a heart warming one, but drunken debauchery gone wrong.

My parents used their American Express rewards points several years ago to buy a trip for the family to go to the premiere of A Guy Thing in Los Angeles. It included airfare, a huge suite at the W in Westwood, limos, red carpet walk, the premiere, and after party. I went out and got a new suit and pair of Ferragamo shoes just for the event. I was looking fly if I do say so myself.

The night of the event my family is all dressed up, we get into our Limo and start cruising around LA and have a few cocktails. We get to the premiere, walk the red carpet, all the papparazi are flashing away, it was very Hollywood. We are seated for the movie right behind Barbara Streisand and her husband James Brolin(he is in the movie). We watch the movie(it was entertaining) and go to the after party.

At the after party my brother and I proceed to get plowed on free booze and start getting our pics taken with a whole bunch of celebrities. It's amazing how brash you can be when you have some liquid courage. We even have some interesting conversations with Selma Blair, some other guy I forgot, and Jason Lee. Never met Julia Stiles though. Anyway we were making the rounds and my parents got us corralled up and taken to the limo. We got back to the hotel and my brother and I proceeded to stay at the Whiskey bar in the lobby and my parents retired for the evening.

This is where it gets hazy, we are buying drinks and charging them to the room, meeting some prime LA ladies(a nice change up from the usual Midwestern buffet), and having a great brother bonding time. I end up meeting this really hot commercial star at the time. It turns out she is loaded and lives in Beverly Hills. After being a total asshole to my brother we left together and she took me back to her house. This place was massive, we make it to her room, I get my pants off and pass out on her bed. I wake up in the morning with my suit coat still on and scream"I have to get to the airport!"

She wakes up and we get in her Bimmer and race back to the hotel. I hop out and promise to call and run to my room. I can't find my key so I have to knock and I am praying my brother answers. This was a two bedroom suite and ours was closest to the door. My mom answers and says, "Oh did you go get breakfast?" Then she looks at me and it registers I am just coming home and I kid you not, she says "You're gonna get AIDS!" Then she walked away.

I rush into my room to pack only to find my brother has thrown up all over it. We get our stuff together and walk down to the lobby as my dad is getting his bill and having a heart attack at the bar tab(sorry dad). We all have different flights because we all live in different places and as my parents drop me off at the curb I have a huge feeling of guilt that I should of stayed with my brother instead of leaving him alone to vomit all over our room. I could have been right there with him, but 7 years later, we are still good friends and have a great memory of going Hollywood for the only time it will probably ever happen in our lives. If you ever find yourself in that situation, abandon the chick and have a $15 dollar drink with your brother instead.